"Marriage Advice for Making Repairs"

by Susie and Otto Collins

One of the common complaints that we hear from married couples,
especially ones that have lasted many years, is that there's a feeling
of boredom and they don't know how to get the excitement back
that they once felt.

We could give you a lot of marriage advice, but probably the best
we can do is give you an example from our own lives.

In this culture we are brought up to believe that good intimate

relationships are always blissful and harmonious--sort of like a
blend between a fairy tale and a steamy romance novel.

While this may be what most people expect and want when

they get into a relationship, this hasn't been our experience.
If we were to sum up our recipe for a happy marriage in a few
words, we would tell you to make repairs and regain your
connection as soon as you see that you have become
disconnected.

Here's a story from our lives and a few marriage tips to help
you to understand what we mean...

During this particular time we're telling you about, our lives
were filled with deadlines and frustrations.

As it happens with many people during times like these,

challenges, misunderstandings and lots of emotion started to
come up between us.

We found ourselves being critical of each other when we

normally weren't. We found ourselves judging the other unfairly

and not giving each other the benefit of the doubt.

We did what many people do during times of disharmony. We

moved into control, withdrawal and resignation. But as we knew,
people in a healthy relationship experience the pain of disharmony
but move into repairing their relationship as quickly as possible.

We believe we are in relationships to heal those parts of ourselves
that need to be healed and disharmony is just a natural progression
to our healing and creating an outstanding relationship.

The term "moving into repair" sounds so clinical, but what this means
to us is the process of regaining the lost connection and magic between us.

So, how do we do that?

1. First, it all starts with our intention-- to keep our deep love

and connection alive.

2. It's also our intention to not run away when things get tough--

to move through disharmony and regain our connection as soon

as possible.

Many people will do almost anything to avoid dealing with painful
situations. But, we've found that if we don't deal with feelings that
come up for us ( no matter how painful) that they won't go away.
They'll be right there waiting for us eager to come up at inopportune
times.

We've discovered that you don't just go through the cycle of
disharmony and repair once and then you never have to do it again.
We've found it to be an ongoing and continual process of growth
that helps us to heal the past and deepen the love between us.

The next time you are tempted to believe that a healthy marriage
never has any disharmony, stop kidding yourself.

All marriages experience periods of disharmony. It's whether you're
willing to move from your stuck positions of blame, judgment and
being right into repair and healing that makes your marriage great
and deepens your connection.

Sponsored Links

Fishing Boats Rig Your Fishing Lure Bass Fishing Fishing with GPS